uncertainty

A part of  poem by Pablo Neruda, "Ode to Life" goes like this:

The entire night
pain has hit me with an axe,
but the dream
passed washing like a dark water
blood soaked stones.
Today again I am alive.
Again 
i lift you,
life,
onto my shoulders.

Oh life, clear glass,
suddenly
you fill
with dirty water, 
dead wine,
agony, losses,
overwhelming cobwebs,
and many believe
that you will always maintain
this color of hell.

It's not true.

these two days have been sad ones for me, so I want to believe that last line.

M loved life. At 14, she had survived cancer of her kidney at a young age, radiation treatment which left her paralyzed from the waist down, and a neurogenic bladder (a bladder that doesn't coordinate itself well and doesn't empty well).  This causes high pressures in the bladder and the urine backs up into the kidneys.  6 years ago we met her and she had a large operation with us, where her appendix was used to make a small channel from her bladder to her skin, and a channel was made from her belly button to her colon.

In these ten years, the team of surgeons has performed these two surgeries for about a dozen children. It allows children with spina bifida, or other causes of neurogenic bladder (like M) to self catheterize their bladders and flush out their intestines, eliminating both types of incontinence that makes them dependent on diapers and on the constant care of others.  Yesterday you learned about a young woman for whom these surgeries allowed independence to study. For M, it simply made her life better. she could go to school more easily, and just feel better about herself.

Two days ago, Martin and I learned that M  died unexpectedly in July.  Last night we sat down with her parents and celebrated her and mourned her. she was a shining star of humor and kindness in the face of really great odds and suffering.  Her remaining kidney gave out on her after an illness, and she did not survive.
The surgeries performed in this week can change people's lives, but they don't change the unknown's of life and the health disparities with which people live here that often shortens their lives.  here is her sweet picture:

We loved her and she loved us.

A is a young man born with spina bifida (Guatemala has the highest incidence of this birth defect in the western hemisphere). He had the same two surgeries as M did.  He's a serious arm wrestler as you can see (here beating Martin handily), likes to lift weights and is crazy about just about everything.  He doesn't need to wear diapers anymore and he can go to school.  We don't take him or any other child here for granted. May his life be sweet.

Again I lift you life onto my shoulders.